This is not a funny post. If you came here for funny, scroll down. This is a post about how I fall asleep when my mind is racing and I’m sharing it because maybe it will help someone else.
I wouldn’t say I have terrible insomnia. I fall asleep pretty easily most nights but I do wake up randomly in the middle of the night and that’s when I have a hard time falling back to sleep because my brain likes to get all active worrying about work and replaying conversations and situations and just basically being a big punk.
I used to take Yoga classes and at the end of the class we did “Corpse Pose”. At the time, I hated it. It drove me crazy to be forced to lay there, and do nothing. The instructor would have us lay in this pose and have us relax our entire body from top to bottom. One night, when I was laying restlessly in bed, desperate for sleep, I started to recite the relaxation techniques and I was out in a matter of minutes.
It’s starts with laying flat on your back (I can also lay on my side and it works just the same). First thing you do is tell your body how to relax. All of this is said in your head, nothing outloud and your body just lays perfectly still. Legs out straight, hands to your sides.
Start with the forehead. Relax the space between your eyes. Make sure it’s not wrinkled and tense. Then move to your mouth, relax your jaw, release the tension. Don’t grind your teeth together. Relax your tongue. Let it just rest in your mouth, don’t press it against your teeth. Go back up and check that space between your eyes. Did it get tense again? Release that tension. Now move to your neck, focus on relaxing all the muscles in your neck, and let your head and shoulders sink into the pillow. Move down the spine and take a deep breath to fill your lungs as full as they can go, and then release all the air. Breath out until you feel like there is no more air. Feel your back sink into the bed. Now take another deep breath and this time let it fill your belly. Breathe into your stomach and then release the breath as you relax your stomach and lower back, releasing all the days tension from your back. Check the space between your eyes again, it’s probably gotten tense again. Release that tension with a deep breath. Now move down to the legs and feet. Spend some time relaxing all the muscles in your legs and then spread your toes as far as you can. Relax your lets and feet. Now the arms. Move down from the shoulders and think of each muscle sinking into the bed as you relax. Now stretch your fingers apart and then squeeze them into a ball. Release and rest your hands. Take another deep breath.
If you aren’t asleep by now, you’re incurable. Probably. I’m telling you, I never make it to the shoulder relaxation. I’m usually asleep by the 2nd time I release the tension in my forehead. It sounds like a lot of stuff to memorize, but really, you’re just starting at the top of your head, moving toward your feet telling your body to relax one body part at a time.
Seriously. This works for me EVERY single time I’ve ever tried it. I believe this works mainly because not only are you forcing your body to relax, but you are making your mind focus on relaxing your body, so it doesn’t have time to think about everything that’s keeping you awake. I do catch my mind wandering sometimes during this, but I reign it back in and start over as soon as I notice.
If you have trouble sleeping, try this. Let me know if it works for you!
Seriously, my brain is busted. It doesn’t work. I just realized I have been talking to someone at work, and had NO idea what his name is, only to find out that it’s someone in charge of stuff and I had NO idea. Now I’m trying to think back to every conversation I’ve EVER had with him to make sure I haven’t said anything stupid. Who knows, I’m sure I have. Holy crap and was I WAY off on this guy. Thought he was short – he’s tall. Beard? Nope, bald. What the heck! Wow..I just need to start paying attention I guess.
other reasons why I’m my brain is busted? hm…I was making a phone call and when they answered it scared me because I forgot I was on the phone and then I stumbled through my question. brain = broken….I remember there WERE other moments in this last week where I thought “oh…girl…you are an idiot’…just can’t remember what they were.
Do you have any examples of my brain being broken this week? What about yours? Please share….
Sometimes my thoughts amaze even me and I want to capture them ALL. Since I’m “blogging” now, I need away to document the random thoughts I have at all times so y’all don’t miss out on any golden moment. I’ve decided to carry a journal…but since a lot of awesome happens while I’m driving – and I don’t condone journaling while driivng – I decided it would be helpful to have a USB port in my brain so I can just plug in and download my thoughts when I come across a good one. And I’d like it just above my right ear near my hairline. That way it’s convenient.
Today – if I would have had a USB port to my brain, I would have downloaded thoughts about:
How E.Coli is going to be the cause of the Zombie appocolypse…I mean come one, a FUNGUS is already taking over the ANT Population. Wait. maybe we should be more aware of the fungus among us. Stop eating shrooms people – you’re going to find yourself dead biting down on a leaf. Also – stay away from the “fun guy” at parties… (ha. throwback, don’t hate).
If you get botox in your armpits to stop sweating, I’m pretty sure it’s scientific (or totally just my theory) that you’re body will start sweating in weird places. Once, I used Certain Dry(or dri, I don’t know) for a long period of time and the back(s) of my knees started to sweat more. It has to come out somewhere, right? What if your body chooses a m0re inconvenient place to sweat, like the tip of your nose, or your collar bone, or you know sexy places…that would SUCK. So just deal with your sweaty armpits, because that’s how you were made. With sweaty armpits.