Don’t you hate it when you try to pants your husband but then it backfires because he sprays you in the face with his deodorant?
Oh, that’s never happened to you?
It happened to me today and let me tell you that was not nearly as painful as I thought it would be. My eyes watered a lot, and it didn’t taste good and maybe my lungs are on the verge of collapsing from inhaling deoderant. Basically, I laid out the story start to finish in the first sentence so I’m not really sure how to explain it. So this isn’t even really a whole post. It’s more like a long twitter post. And also an online record of me getting deodorant sprayed in my face in case I die of some really strange ailment and no one can figure it out. It was in an orange can. I’m not sure what it’s called because Chris won’t tell me and I’m too blind to go look at the can.
In case the previous paragraph or two wasn’t enough for you, I walked the dogs in a see through tank top today. Totally not on purpose. It wasn’t until we had passed
some people a family with children that I realized I could see through my shirt. So I asked Chris if he could see through my shirt and he quickly said yep.
Thanks honey. I’ve been outside in this tank top for like 2 hours WITH YOU, and you didn’t notice before now? Awesome.
I’ve suspected it for a while. I’ve jokingly called him by the name. But now I have proof.
I’m married to The Hulk.
I discovered this while doing the laundry. It was the first thing I pulled out of the basket. The Hulk was taking a nap, so I sat it aside to ask him about it when he woke up. When he woke up, I jokingly asked what triggers the transformation. I recorded the conversation, so rather than paraphrasing, I’ll give you the transcript:
Me: What exactly triggers your transformation to The Hulk (as I hold the shirt up so he can see it)
Me: because what is a ripped up shirt doing in the laundry…with HOLES in it?
Chris: I didn’t know (really…what kind of answer is that?)
Now he’s just avoiding the question…something the hulk would do when confronted. I’m sure.
At this moment, Chris acted like he was about to rip the shirt he was wearing
Me: are you going to rip another one? did I anger the Hulk with my questions? How exactly did this happen?
Chris: I put it on the other day, and it didn’t fit, it was just like…it didn’t fit…it was like stretched out.
Me: now it’s extra stretched out
Chris: It was never gonna get back to the normal form, so I just went ahead and ripped it because I was pissed about it
Me: So you did rip it like the Hulk? I really didn’t expect that answer, I really expected you to be like “oh no, it was something else, or whatever” and you actually just ripped your shirt off because you ARE the freaking hulk. So what angers the hulk? I didn’t realize it was wardrobe malfunctions that turned you into the hulk, and you’re wearing green right now which is pretty awesome.
I really wish I could upload the actual audio of this conversation. It’s so much funnier when you’re not reading it.